External Validation

Your Customers and Others – how it can define us

Our recent review of External Validation models, in addition to our society need for others to ‘like’ what we are doing led us to an interesting article by psychologytoday.

Elizabeth Thornton determined the role ‘mental models’ play in management, leadership and decision-making.  There are several common mental models: External Validation, Competition, Perfectionists and Control, which seem to be rooted in an overall model of Insecurity or ‘I am Not Good Enough’. This can impact on individuals, leaders and managers.

This led us to reflect on the impact this has an individual, when they receive a lot of ‘likes’ or positive comments on social media. Also the reverse when there are limited number of likes or less positive, sometimes derogatory comments.

The highs and the lows

The high of the positivity and low of the negativity can be a roller coaster of emotions. If your mood changes based on likes, you don’t control your sense of well-being, other people do.

Do you want to step off that roller coaster of emotional yo yoing? It could be wise to remember that everyone is instantly judging, categorising, and responding based upon a wide range of influences in their own mind. Therefore, we are being judged and responded to in ways that have nothing to do with us at all. Experiences that other people have,  inform their judgements. Something which you have no control or are not within your remit as an individual or manager.


As a manager, it is important that you support your team, gain regular feedback from them. Give them constructive and developmental feedback and work together on areas for development. Don’t just criticise them.

And, don’t forget regardless of who your customer is, measure and monitor customer feedback. Tweaking and improving your product to enable your company to deliver a great customer experience.

TA Barker Associates regularly monitor and measure customer feedback, it helps us develop our programmes and services. Our recent survey demonstrates that our customers rate us 4.9 out of 5 for our services.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

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